Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
