I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
