Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
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