if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
