i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
