and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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