i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So much Jack, so little girl.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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