Me. At least after what I've been through.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
