Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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