I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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