the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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