Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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