Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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