I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
