in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
handjob tips. give me some.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
