Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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