i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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