Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
