I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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