I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
