When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
