return my video game
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
