I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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