he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
