Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
