In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
