last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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