By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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