she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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