How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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