i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
