What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
