Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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