I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
