it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
