i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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