well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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