I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
