your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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