Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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