ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
