There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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