you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
