apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
