Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize