Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
