I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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