Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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