Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
