4 words: hood of his car
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
