do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
