i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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