We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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