oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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